minibikewinter 2006

Okay. So I've put so much time and energy and money into minibikewinter over the last month, so if you haven't heard from me that's why.

I'll try to give a detailed rundown of everything that I can. Okay, wait a minute, we need to back up for a second to say MINIBIKEWINTER 2006 WAS THE BEST MINIBIKE WINTER EVER!!!!!!!!


http://www.zoobomb.net/
http://www.flickr.com/gabrielamadeus/
http://www.zoobomb.org/gallery/WinterOlympics2006
http://www.flickr.com/photos/53187156@N00/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/minibikeman/
http://flickr.com/photos/tags/minibikewinter/
http://flickr.com/photos/tags/zoobomb/
http://www.bikeportland.org/
http://shmanarchy.blogspot.com/
http://www.thisisplanb.net/photos/mbw/index.html
http://www.ianpaterson.org/events/portland20060217/index.htm
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1632972875222537751&q=zoobomb
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7589474806009419237&q=zoobomb

This entire weekend was such a huge sucess due to many factors: First and foremost Zoobomb, The FUN Movement, and Rad America. Also many people/orgs/things like ME, rev phil, danimal, handsome, sysfail, christophe, the feral clowns, show me the pink, the sprockettes, cupcake, dogeye, ayleen, the blessed MC3 crew from vancouver BC, the mercury, FREE GEEK, Richland, FREE GEEK, dumpstering, Full Sail Brewery, The lloyd center mall, that sushi place everyone went to, rocco's, jeff the bike light guy, the fair city of portland, lots other's... but, you know, the memory... Did I mention Phill, Christophe, The GEEK, Danimal, and Handsome?!

WEDNESDAY FEB 15TH
Okay, I'm going to skip wednesday's event cuz I wasn't there. Heard it was fun though!

THURSDAY FEB 16TH
Thursday night there was stencil and movie night at freegeek. This was my idea and I had no idea so may folks would show up to make stuff! I was planning on actually being able to finish up some of my stencil stuff, but the entire place was overrun. Thanks to Dan for taking control of running the show. I'm guesing somewhere between 30-50 garments/patches/capes were done! I think I managed to get nearly one of each stencil on my beatiful pink golden nugget cape. I think 5 movies were shown as well and plenty of beer was drank. Smiles were abound. Etc, etc.

FRIDAY FEB 17TH
Then comes friday. Here we run into the first bad news of the weekend. Me N phill head towards the hill to set the steeplechase course with the glowsticks and reflective tape. The ever dependable MAX, however, has other plans and we find out that it has been broken down since 8am. After milling around pulling whiskey off the flask for an hour or so we call off the race and head down to Richland to see if we can help prep for the party. Bad news #2. Zach, the lead rockstar and drummer for show me the pink, is in jail. And he and the band are suposed to leave the next day on tour... Okay, right after we show up, it gets worked out on the phone, and he'll be released the next day. Still 2 nights in jail all over some old grafiti charge that he actually fessed up to, paided the fine and did most of the community service. Grrr to to glitches in the system. We all decided to walk downtown on a jailbreak mission and we stood on a corner for 10 min (me in my "Captain ¡FUN!" costume) and waved and held up the WHAT! WHAT! posters. We wern't even sure we were waving at the right building but later found out that Zach and the other jailbirds were pysched on it. Next time we'll be better prepared with C4 and grappling hooks.

Despite all the difficulties, Richland pulled through and hosted an amazing house party. It was even listed in the local Mercury paper as a must see show, which for a house party downtown, is either either really good or really bad news, depending on your point of view. It was really good news. The sprockettes kicked it off with a even-more-than-usual breathtaking performance in a parking lot next door. Then everyone crammed themselves into the basement and me peter and handsome tapped the keg that Full Sail had graciously discounted. Yay for local beer suppotinng the FUN Movement! The Pinchers of Peril rocked the basement for a while to a smelly/sweaty/gritty/hipster crowd and then mustaphamond drove everyone crazy upatairs. Lots of jumpping around pretending to try and hurt each other, etc. etc. I must mention that wearing football shoulder pads to a mosh pit is a great idea. People just love it. Show me The Pink was supposed to be on next, and everyone was dissapointed but really what better excuse is there for a band to not show up for their own party and be late for tour? Um, yeah, we were in jail...... Fucking Rockstars I tell ya, always taking it to next level, sheesh. The girls all represented with freestyle "Most Wanted Boy in the Room" ending in a crowd-wide "FREE ZACH" chant. Then it was betime.

SATURDAY FEB 18TH
I woke up exhausted with a hangover and the for probably the 7th day in a row. This needed to end soon, but the two most hardcore nights were still ahead of me. Yikes. I showed up a 1/2 hour late for the Saturday Afternoon Escapism (a tour of american capitalism) And found a racous already boozed crowd of 30 bikers. Shit. The plan was to ride through the lloyd center mall as fast as possible, down the escalators, and out through nordstroms, unscathed. Possible, perhaps with only 10 riders. Even a block away we had already caught the attention of the mall security guards. After some milling around and misc bullshit we finally ended up making a dash for the original route. I strategically placed myself at the head of the pack, and as soon as I opend the door I hauled ass without looking back, using the old "if there is a bear, just run faster than your friend" theory. It worked flawlessly. The mall was super crowded and most people didn't even notice me until I had blown by. I then ran down the up escalators with my bike above my head and out through nordstroms without seeing a single security guard. Back at the meeting spot we found out there had been a couple run-ins with guards but no one had been nabbed. Success!

Later in the evening at Free Geek I arived to find the place pimped out for an amazing dance party courtosy of Christophe. The beer and odwalla began flowing freely thanks to handsome and sysfail. And the party began. There was a fashion show, feral clown performance, and gerneral awesomeness till around 12am when we anounced the naked ride. Recieved with moans of dispair and raised eyebrows a few brave souls began to disrobe and soon the momentum spread. I handed out the complimentary minibikewinter naked ride fanny packs at the door for everyone to store their valubles and soon everyone was screaming and riding in cirlces in the 23º weather. ### BREAKING UPDATE### B-Rad has kindly brought it to my attention that my original post mentioned 40º weather, which is in fact, incorrect. A record low was actually set later that morning at 23º, so we can probably estimate the midnight temperature to be roughly 25º-30º. YaY! We took off for downtown whooping and hollering but by the time we made it to MLK, there was a distinctive vibrato in the whoops due to the shivering and teeth chattering. An emergency retreat was called and we hauled naked ass back to FREE GEEK with our tails between our naked legs. Then a naked dance party ensued and the party raged for another 4 hours. Woot! Woot!

SUNDAY FEB 19TH
Arggggh! Dragged myself out of bed again, donned the Captain ¡FUN! costume, and loaded myself down with my entire stencil kit, the whiplash rope, booze, clothes, water, and prizes. All on a mini to the esplanade. Today was the main event, The Minibike Winter Olympics. I was 1/2 hour late and there was already 40 or so peeps milling/boozing around. It was a beatiful sunny day and finally a little warmer than the previous week and we got things going with some whiskey, tequilla, coffee and minibike rolo. A crowd began to gather. We soon entered high gear for the whiplash event which turned out to be more hardcore than I expected. This is basically a long rope with the middle 20' consisting of a bunch of doubled-up innertubes. Tie each end around a minibiker's waist, have them ride as fast as they can in opposite directions and sit back and watch the hilariousosity! Then there was a backwards on handlebars ride and I set up a stencil station which turned out to be insanely popular again! Then the miracle of miracles happened. The cupcake challenge materialized and 4 phttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifeople rode down one of the esplanade docks straight into the willamette naked! After that there was the usuall jousting and derby which I was reprimanded in because there are apparently "rules" in the derby. I think they are all just jealous of my sword, bolos, and ninja-like handlebar grabbing/yanking techniques. Many great prizes were handed out including a Rad America shoulder bag, minibikewinter pillow, $50 tattoo, and "Minibike Winner" patches for everyone who placed. Then back to the geek for malt liqour and well earned couch-slouch time.

The zoobomb was amazing as well. For those who don't know the zoobomb is the hub of minibike winter. After hanging out on the hill for a spell we organized and announced that all the bigbikes/everyone who wasn't racing was going down first to set up a finishline and cheering crowd for the competitors. We stretched a ducttape finish line and held aloft the awesome trophies made by topher. The riders sprinted into view and dogeye, mechanic mark, and cupcake blasted through the line respectively. Back at the top of the elevators we headed for the 26 freeway to do the run known as "hellway". For some strange reason the steep downhill section of 26 entering portland from the west is legal to ridhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gife bikes on and we take full advantage of this by bombing down and through the tunnel to goose hollow. Once we made it back up the hill dave annouced that he had a full keg hidden in the bushes and, well it was all downhill from there. Three hours later we had polished that off in good form, and bombed again, tried to make it into the sugar gallery, and then settled for a bonfire by the river at Thunderdome. I think I actually died for about a half hour that night. On my walk home (too drunk/sore to ride a mini) I'm missing a chunk of time. I thought I just layed down for a couple of winks at the sandy burnside intersection but perhaps it was longer.... Yikes! Luckily my butt is only sore from riding and I still have all my possesions. Then again, I dont think anyone would have wanted to fuck with me the way I was looking. Oh, wait. No, I am missing my glasses, because I smashed them as we were building the fire on the esplanade. Then I slept for all of Monday and am still nursing my bruises.

MONDAY FEB 20TH
Was anyone actually alive to go out to Bike polo today? I wasn't.


All in all a fabulous time and a big step for the FUN Movement. Ya'll can find pictures and video @


http://www.zoobomb.net/
http://www.flickr.com/gabrielamadeus/
http://www.zoobomb.org/gallery/WinterOlympics2006
http://www.flickr.com/photos/53187156@N00/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/minibikeman/
http://flickr.com/photos/tags/minibikewinter/
http://flickr.com/photos/tags/zoobomb/
http://www.bikeportland.org/
http://shmanarchy.blogspot.com/
http://www.thisisplanb.net/photos/mbw/index.html
http://www.ianpaterson.org/events/portland20060217/index.htm
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1632972875222537751&q=zoobomb
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7589474806009419237&q=zoobomb